A few of the things I love...right now.

I want to wear this everyday. AND walk around in these halls. Gorgeous. 

With the weather like it is, a tingy of heat and perfect nights, I want to sit right there on that rock and read. To be honest, I'd probably lay down on the rock and fall asleep.

Every year in Brussels, they take begonias and create art in the square. I have until August to book my flight!

This gorgeous apartment is in my city- Paris. And so is this bedroom, which I will gladly reproduce and claim as my own. 

All I can say is yes please to these Christian Louboutin

And I'd sit right here and wear them and drink wine and laugh til I cried. 

I will remember this and have it when camping outdoors is simply not an option. 

 Inspiration books. I will start a new one very very soon. 

Darks Only You Know

In the Darks Only You
   know of me
I am Changed
Screaming
Pools of water cloud me
A mosaic of colors
   Broken parts
Crushed
       And brought
    together by a
Sovereign
     hand
In His own image.

Stories

So many questions circle round and round in my head. I turned 28 this year. Funny enough I actually really like that age. It's brought a sense of contentment that my younger 20's never shared with me. I was somewhat of a disaster right out of college. I'm not saying that from time to time that I'm not still a complete mess, but it's different now. Grace I guess has a lot to do with it. 

I'm surrounded by so many wonderful gracious people. However, I have noticed that the overarching quality people are tending to notice about me is my inquisitive nature. My friend Catie finally asked me the other night "Why are you so inquisitive Cara?" Now, she in no way was saying, "Stop that. That's annoying," but I think she was just genuinely curious. My response- I used to think I knew it all. I had no reason to ask questions. But a few things happened. I hit a hard brick wall of pride and both of us broke. When I went to get up, it wasn't pretty. I was bleeding a lot, but people heard my quiet shameful cries for help. My recovery birthed a great deal of things- one of them my screaming awareness of how much I didn't know and how much I loved the people that were loving me in return. So now I can't help but ask people their stories. What more could we desire than to know and be known? And on top of all that love them. I didn't know how to do that when I was under the impression I was "clean". By no means do I know how to do that perfectly now, but I have the "want" to. To me, that's the most important. 

We are all broken, whether we understand that or not. I've been fortunate enough to become really aware of most of my pieces. So that's the short version...ask me some questions if you wanna know more. 

Photography....Photography...

So I was sitting around today and looking at some friend's engagement photographs and I thought...I should write about photography. Plain and simple. That is how this post came about. Ok. So now you know.

I am constantly surrounded by incredibly gifted photographers and I check out their stuff from time to time. At this point in my life all I have for photography is a natural liking and interest. Let's add on top of that an amazing amount of appreciation. So many details go in to this particular art. Here is what I've noticed about good photographers. First and foremost- (some of them might hate me for this) they are excellent with people. You can't really show an incredible side of life if its all freaked out, nervous, jittery, and self-editing. These artist have to be people who make others feel at ease, or else they just shoot food, nature and architecture I guess. I think you can know all there is to know about lighting and it not be enough because you weird people out to the point that all your pictures turn out terrible. So that's one thing I know for sure about photography.

The second is lighting. Oh MY GOODNESS. Lighting is essential. I mean I know people say that all the time, but you guys...I'm here to tell you it is true. Bad lighting= not good. Great lighting= excellent show stopping pictures. Now here's what I think, since you are reading this we will assume you care, good lighting you might not notice, but bad lighting, oh bad lighting you will for sure! It can be just the smallest little change that makes the biggest difference.

I'll add more to this later, but a recommendation of mine is befriend a photographer. They are excellent people to keep company with! They tend to be quite passionate about their art and will gladly explain their learnings/findings.

Spring, Sigur Ros, Progress and Potential

A small note that none of you may realize...I must stop trying to title my blog posts before I write them.

Ok enough of that randomness. So on one of the greatest days to be thankful...here goes a plethora of thankfulness. In absolutely no particular order, except when they pop into my head.

1. Music. I love it. I love those moments when the music or the song is the exact one you want to hear at that moment. Where it makes me close my eyes and just smile (So long as I am not driving.) It's like someone is creating a soundtrack for your life and they just got it right. Music that I love right now? Sigur Ros. Those guys just let me take a deep breath. And most country music. Now I know this is a wide range of appreciation, but I've been missing my grandparents and well my "roots" lately for that matter. Country music reminds me of all of that. It grounds me. So there. I said it. Bluegrass to Reba. Give it all to me today.

2. Jesus. What sweet salvation. My depraved, lost, damned life has be REDEEMED. It has been restored. Given breath. I was lost. Confused. Blind. Empty. Aching. He came so that I might have joy. Abundant joy. Even with trials and tests- Christ has saved me. HE loves me. HE sought me. Why would I not be overjoyed?

3. Fantastic weather. I love Spring. It is my favorite season. Yeah I know the pollen sucks, but everything has life again. I can eat outside. I can read outside. I can sleep outside. The days are longer so I can take walks with friends for hours on end. Sometimes I get so excited about Spring I could run around in circles.

4. My friends. I love them. They inspire me. However, one of the things I love most about them is that they love me and that brings so many other things into play. That means they listen. They try their best to empathize with me. They challenge me and ask me the tough questions. They are protective. (One of the things I cherish most about them.) They are my support. I am a communicator and sometimes an over-communicator and they let me talk things out. Even when they are exhausted.

5. Quiet time. Slowing down. Having the fortunate opportunity to think and just clear my head.

6. Progress. If you knew me a year ago  you would see the road behind me and see how far the Lord has brought me. My soul has come so far. It still has a long way to go. By no means am I tooting my own horn here, but how glorious! It is amazing to see the progress that's been made in a matter of months. I'm not even the same person. I don't know her. (But that's another post. Read an old one. I'm sure you'll get the picture.) Forward progression. It gives me a heart for those that are stuck or feel hopeless. You are not alone. Keep moving. It'll take time but be gracious with yourself. You will heal faster than you realize. Try your hardest to not look back. Know that that brings little good to you. I am not saying don't recognize where you have come from, but don't look wishfully back or shamefully for that matter.

7. Potential. There are so many possibilities right now. I am just really optimistic about them all. So here's to potential in a great many areas of my life.

Perfect Grace (especially for my second family)

So I'm not perfect. Revolutionary thought right? For me I have to tell myself that daily. Sometimes moment to moment. I am going to fail. I am not going to do things right. People will be disappointed in me. That is okay. Ok...Somewhere deep inside I find it a driving desire to not disappoint, or well I used to. I still struggle with that idea, but do you know what is amazing? When people love you through your brokenness. Now I don't want to beat a dead horse (uh) but I am astounded that people love me the way they do. Even though I am a screw-up, over-dramatic, extremely passionate, brutally honest, impatient and the list could go on and on in my strengths and weaknesses; they still love me. I think this is one of the reasons I am so honest with people...I am afraid they are going to find something out about  me and then decide they don't really love me. Now I say one because I know it is not the only reason. I truly can't be any other way but transparent. I will communicate til I am blue in the face and then I will talk about how I am blue in the face and why I am blue. You get it? And here is a little shout out....For the people that I live with day in and day out...mostly the people I work with I love you very very much. You are like my second family. You know me really well. Embarassingly well. You make me laugh. You've seen my brokenness more recently than any others. And we fight the good fight together. Again...I LOVE YOU!