Carnal Men...

“Carnal men and women do not know their own spirits, and therefore they fling and vex themselves at every affliction that befalls them, they do not know what disorders are in their hearts which may be healed by their afflictions, if it pleases God to give them a sanctified use of them.” Jeremiah Burroughs, The Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment


It is oh so easy to become engulfed in our own trials. Consumed. Selfish. Blinded. I can remember when I was in high school and one of my best friends died. I was sitting in my kitchen and a talk show was on and I can remember thinking: "Why is everyone laughing? Don't they know Wes just died?" They didn't. Not only did they not know, they didn't care. Who was Wes to them? I am not saying that I shouldn't have  mourned for my friend. I was in a state of loss and grief, but I was being consumed by it- SO much so that I could not understand why the world wasn't mourning with me. I am aware that this is an extreme example, but I do this often in my daily life. I begin to think too much of myself. Hear me out here- I spend entirely too much time "flinging and vexing" myself at ALL types of afflictions. Thinking about how I am too selfish, HA, that's ironic right? Thinking about how I've made poor choices and what that says about my heart. Now I am not saying that we should not be metacognitive in our lives, but the amount of weight I feel with these thoughts is unbalanced. If ONLY I spent more time thinking about what others need. How they could be loved, my afflictions would pale in comparison. This is my battle and it has to be a conscious choice. We are a people among the fall of man. Broken. In dire utter need of saving. Dependent on Grace. Wholly. And it is a beautiful thing. To love something more than we love ourselves. 


I mess up though. I forget. I let the world get the best of me and my flesh rears its ugly head. And this is the crux for me. I have to hope in the Lord. In His people, that they will show me grace, that they understand my brokenness perhaps better than I do...


To those who have stood by me as I walk, stumble and fall on this journey- I want to say thank you. I love you so much. You have been the voice of the Lord in my life. You have been his arms when I fall. You have been his light when I couldn't see my way.