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So things aren't always easy. However, I will say this, the Lord is so extremely faithful and I love him so much for that. Love doesn't even seem like the right word for it simply because I use it so often. I am in love with him and I know that I have never been in love before. I think it would be harder to distinguish if I had felt that earthly love, but right now I am just thankful that I have not. I am overjoyed that my Lord is the ultimate Healer. If I'm to be honest, there is simply no reason that I should be this at peace right now in my life. My story is a that of a wretch and a wretch I am for sure, but He sought me with a determined love.
I look back on the past year, and pretty much a lot of my life, and my heart breaks for who I was. I am not sure I know her all that well anymore, and for that I am overjoyed. It is sad though, the lost girl I used to be. Sad in a way that truly deep down breaks my heart and brings tears to my eyes. Trying so hard to be something I never was intended to be. Becoming exhausted for all the wrong reasons. I was stressed beyond reason to try and find love and it landed me in the most horrible and miserable of places. My heart is still healing and as some might say, still bleeding a bit, but He is healing my wounds. (Self-inflicted or not) I want to tell her she is loved. That she has been set apart as Holy, but she wouldn't listen I know.
My soul truly does well up with praise. Why me? I'm not really sure, but I am blessed beyond measure, beyond reason, beyond qualification. We serve a mighty Holy and simply put amazing God. I wish my soul was at liberty to share with all of you the miracles He has performed in my life. I don't think I have even been able to process them all.
The road is long before me in this process of striving to become more like my Father, but with the strength I desperately beg from Him, He will make my life fruitful. For His glory. He is faithful. My God is faithful to save.